Heart of a Deadman. Part 2.

-So... what were you going to tell me? - she asked, looking at him.

"Who is she... why am I feeling so.. alive when I hear her voice? When has it happened... how.."

Those weren't his thoughts. It was a state, a feeling... an emotion. Gharb looked in her eyes and this emotion was born. It was sparkling inside, enlightening and blinding,

"But.. it must not happen! I am alone, I cannot bind myself to anybody! I bring suffering and pain not only to my enemies.."

Gharb was looking in her eyes, scared of himself, admiring her, lost in his thoughts, feelings, vows. It was just single moment that confused everything. The ground was pulled out, he was falling, cursing himself, yelling at himself, angry, arrogant...

"Get a grip, moron!! Shut up your feelings and GO AWAY!! Now!"

...and thankful. Gharb held his breath... there was no point in denying anything, he was honest even now. He continued with a serious and surprisingly calm tone. He put off his hat, feeling this place shouldn't be affected by his sarcasm or irony. The Portal was too precious to her.

It's... a very simple thing. Yet a bit complicated to explain...

-Very well - Heresy's face became serious as she listened.

Now humour aside!

-Okay - she nodded in agreement.

I said this to myself, Heresy. - Gharb grinned. Then coughed clearing his throat, if this was possible, preparing for a long monologue. He peered around - the terrifying Portal, demons which could kill him in a couple of hits, sky fullfilled with magic winds and currents, scarred and completely destroyed land... and a lady patiently waiting for him to tell her, finally, why the hell he had rushed to this gods' forsaken land to meet her. Gharb slightly nodded to himself aknowledging this full set of a brave horde hero. Or a loser.

-Are you okay? - Heresy asked. Gharb felt silly... everything was so confused - time, place, words - mixed up in one mindless chaos, only heart was pulsing through it, driving him.

I'm not. - he noticed Heresy became worried, but rushed to continue before she sais anything, - But nevermind... The day before yesterday... the night. Was a special one.. - Gharb felt as if his nerves were very alive and almost ready to die, at last. But he continued to speak, meeting Heresy's sight - Believe me or not... i've never spoken honestly to any person after I died.

First it was painful, then it wasn't necessary. Then I thought it's gone and I don't need anything...

Those were words. He was speaking and speaking, without realising much what this was about. Gharb felt an emotion, he was sharing it.. words were silly, they were confusing but he kept on trying to tell her what exactly he was feeling. Thousands of other thoughts were piercing him at the same time.

"...I don't need anything..." - What a liar I am!
"...I have no heart..." - Shame on you, Gharb! Just open your eyes - you can FEEL!
"...i cannot ruin her life..." - Idiot! Just tell her how you feel, there's nothing awful! Be honest, damn you!

I'm thankful to you. You've listened to me that night. You've spent your time with me - it's an honor and I'm flattered. Who would like to spend time with me?... heh. - he cackled sadly. Heresy was looking at him, not even blinking and barely breathing.

"Now it's my bony arse that is going to be kicked..."

Gharb was afraid to let her answer. There were too many things to tell her first. Without letting her to put a word he took a breath and continued, smiling and feeling like a complete idiot.

I feel thankful. I feel... I admire you. I bow to you. Not as a joke... not as a ritual. For real. Because of my feeling. We've spent just one day and you affected me that much.

Heresy said something but Gharb was too posessed by all this state to hear anything.

Thank you for giving me feelings. For giving me thoughts. For supporting me with just your attention.

Gharb saw she was smiling.

"I wonder if she thinks I'm an idiot... Let me introduce myself - awkward-romantic-silly-champion-just-Gharb!". - He laughed in his thoughs. "I can't resist her! If I have to be such an idiot - then it's fate".

Now... i know it's silly and I don't believe in such things. I honestly say I do think it's silly but I can't help it! Just... something from me. Not important but useless... well... i just don't know your attitude... uhmg.. er... nevermind.

"Idiot! Gharb, you are idiot! She'll cut your head off!"

Gharb took out of his cloak.. a bouquet of black roses and handed it to Heresy.

Just take a small gift, please.

Heresy took flowers and smiled. She seemed surprised.

"Black? Does she like black?! Yeah, I guess she does... But roses? No, flowers?! Maybe i should have presented her rum? Idiot!! You are brainless, hopeless idiot, Gharb! Who gives a lady rum as a gift! Shut up!!... ... i'm dead. Now I'm gonna be dead for real!"

But he just smiled at Heresy. It was as warm and friendly smile as it's possible for an undead. Gharb's eyes were glowing with bright yellow, but light weren't constant - it was slightly fading and appearing again as if Gharb was unsure about something. He was barely staying conscious.

I'll... leave you for now. With my thanks... Sorry for this. - Gharb swallowed, stood up and met her sight. She was gazing at him eagerly as if she was reading his mind and soul. Gharb's heart pounded. But he bowed and made several steps off the Portal.

"Now she's going to kill me... either her or Linton. But... I just did what I felt to. I was honest. I don't care what it brings, would it be death, torture, eternal damnation... i don't care."

And... thanks.

- but.. wait..

Gharb put on his hat and melded in stealth.

In half a minute his hearthstone brought him back to Brill. He fell on the nearest chair, breathing hard and gripping his blade as if he was preparing to fight someone.

"I... cannot believe.. why I feel so.. true? Pulsing with life, absorbing every moment of her smile, every tone of her voice..."

Then he remembered his own words he'd told Heresy two days ago.

...armor could be broken with a smile.